| i just came back here for old times sake and read my last entry and now i dont even knwo what to say or to think or anything... ugh.. shit.
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| last night i had an amazing night i really did, i really didnt do
anything to special or outrageous i just spent it with a boy i really
like. but im sittin here this morning waking up to my hair
smelling like him and in daydreams and i really wonder what the hell
did i do.... yeah i was so happy and wouldnt take it back.. and i was
thinking what if i made a huge mistake and locked myself down to
something when i need to expirence more.. and everytime i do expirence
somethign different its so good and so much fun and i love where i am,
but i wanna be free. i love the security and the love i get where
i am... god i love it and i dont even know if i could leave.. but alot
of the times i really want to. but at the same time.... what if i lose
somethign good when its only a small possiblitlity for osmethign
greatthings dont always work out and i dont think that i want to give
up everything for nothing. but at the same time what i have hasnt been
very good in a very long time when the bad outweighs the good is when
you say bye right? ive always said that but ive never lived it and i
think im to scared to do it , ugh all i know is that i love what i have
but i want more. and better.
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| hahaha, here comes a new year. 2005 sucked big time. so heres to
a better year. and a year of alot of change. actually this will
probably be the hardest year of all... im going to lose alot and
hopefully gain more. but hell, its commin so why not face it.
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| well im offically going to Tech now.. i have my own tech email and
everything ((katie.gouge@ttu.edu)) im excited
but at the same time really regretful of the life ive lived here in
mesquite. which is actually a pretty big deal to me.. since about 8th
grade ive tried relaly hard to live my life with out any regrets good
decisions or bad ones.. but now ive come to regret alot of things..and
most of them are things that i had no control over , so it leaves me
thinkking.. how do you regret something that wasnt your fault
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